Scary Movie 3
Miramax Home Entertainment   -   2003   -   90 minutes

Reviewed by Erick Klafter

Review Date: June 7, 2004

FOR STARTERS

PHOTO GALLERY Cindy Finds The Killer Video Tape

As a fan of absolute comedy of the stupid kind, I was looking forward to watching a movie that would tickle my funny bone or even make me �roll on the floor�. Sadly, Scary Movie 3 did neither. Keenan Ivory Wayans directed the first two renditions of this trilogy, and some of his family appeared in the first movies, but the entire Wayans family was noticeably absent in this film. Instead, we have David Zucker, who directed Airplane!. At first glance, this may not appear to be a bad thing since Airplane! was hilarious and is still funny all these years later. Unfortunately, even David Zucker could not make a movie this stupid and unnecessary remotely funny.

Scary Movie 3 pokes fun at many blockbuster movies such as The Matrix Reloaded, Signs, 8 Mile, The Ring, and a few others, all the while dancing around the main plot. Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris) somehow survives the two previous movies as a news anchorwoman who is investigating a videotape that kills people seven days after they view it, gets involved with some crop circle farm scandal on a former priest�s farm (Charlie Sheen) and falls for some total loser white rapper (Simon Rex).

While Campbell is investigating all of these things, an entire fleet of other characters enter the picture, like Queen Latifah playing some sort of fortune teller, Leslie Nielsen as the President, D.L. Hughley as the President�s advisor, Pamela Anderson, Jenny McCarthy, and a host of others who try--badly--to parody as many movies as possible and to bring some slapstick into the picture. The pure insanity of slapstick, as a movie, might have worked without the videotape killings, but instead we get a barrage of dumb jokes, no plot, bad acting, and a waste of everyone�s time.

If you paid money in the theatres to see this, I feel sorry for you. If you thought it would be just as funny as the original movie which had the Wayans� heavily involved along with the �R� rating, then you need your head examined. If you actually spent more than 5 bucks to buy this movie, you are getting ripped off. If you rent it, and they give you 5 bucks to watch it, I hope that 5 bucks was worth 90 minutes of your life totally wasted. This movie might be actually hilarious totally drunk out of your mind, but if you hear laughter from friends, it�s probably because you are acting funnier than the movie.

VIDEO

Scary (not!) Movie 3 is presented in 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen, which is not a big deal these days. If you�re a guy like me and can �tolerate� seeing a certain part of a woman�s upper body as often as possible, then you get your chance on several occasions in this movie. That may be the best bonus video-wise for your DVD purchasing dollar. Colors are fine, the video is pretty clean overall, and there isn�t much to really praise or complain about. You may miss some of the details due to the fact that you are rolling your eyes or falling asleep as you watch this sad attempt at movie entertainment.

AUDIO

You get 5.1 Digital Dolby Sound, probably the best feature of this entire waste of film. Your center speaker is 98% of the sound, give or take, I was hardly paying attention. The right and left speakers occasionally speak up but your rear speakers barely make a whisper. Don�t expect too much from this, because you won�t get it. If fact, don�t get this movie at all; ever.

SUPPLEMENTS

If you didn�t get enough stupidity already in the first 90 minutes, or if your IQ just isn�t low enough today, you can check out the plethora of extras that come with this single disc DVD. You can watch 10 more god-awful deleted scenes, mesmerize yourself with the very sophisticated audio commentary from the director, and view an �alternate� ending involving the Hulk (which either way would not be funny). An �I can�t take it anymore� full featurette on the making of this waste of money, a four minute spoof of that same �making of� sequence, and some bloopers are also available for your viewing displeasure.

BOTTOM LINE

A total waste of my, yours, the studios, the country�s, and in fact the world�s time in the making, filming, selling, and reviewing this not funny, totally overacted, and hopefully terminated franchise. Never rent this movie, don�t buy it, and if it ever comes on TV, turn the channel to C-SPAN; the comedy there is much better.